How to Win Friends & Influence People

A couple of blog posts recently have started me thinking about the way we interact with people in Wold of Warcraft. Cozmo over at GTFOOTF posed an interesting question with his post on friends. Saate over at Saate.net made a post as well about maturity and the veritable mine field that is the common populous of WOW. Now, I’m sure there’s some Goblins out there that will immediately discount the concept of friendship; however, there are several reasons why you might reconsider.

That’s What Friends are For
Like it or not, WoW is a social game. When real life acquaintances have asked me “what is WOW?” I tend to explain it by saying it’s a chat room with a video game built around it. I believe it’s absolutely vital that we never forget that the game itself exists around this interaction via chat. Now, your level of involvement in that chat will of course vary, but without this interaction the game loses a lot of it’s depth (try playing on an underpopulated Emu server sometime and see how long you enjoy it).

As Goblins we depend on other people, they’re the ones who buy our stuff. As a raider, they’re the ones who DPS the baddie, tank the boss, or heal you! And of course, if PVP is your thing… well, you kinda can’t PVP unless there’s other players. My point is that other people are essential to the process. Of course, it’s a mixed bag when you wade into the deep end with random people.

Every Friend Was Once a Stranger
There are interesting social issues when dealing with anonymous people in a virtual system like WOW, for one you can’t take them at face value. The male Orc Warrior might be an Asian Girl from South Dakota or a thirty something IT professional from Dallas (some guy). Chances are though, it’s a dude. So most of us assume it is until proven otherwise (some will never believe it’s a female). One of the more interesting things about interacting in a virtual system is that it’s a chance for the Id to run wild. I would posit that most of the time in games like WOW, it does.

To put it in simpler terms, think of that legendary scene from Reservoir Dogs

If You’re Wondering Who the Asshole is, it’s Probably You
If you que up for a random dungeon you’ll be a sane person with four random people. They may be friendly geared players, but they’re just as likely to be horrible in nearly every way imaginable. The problem of anonymity is exacerbated by the LFG tool, because you’re grouping with people in your battle group, not necessarily your server. When a point of contention arises you have two or more people fighting and neither is willing to back down because they are (largely) anonymous and they “think” they’re right. Most people assume they’re sane, competent, and correct. Someone willing to admit their faults is generally a deviation from the norm.

Within the confines of this virtual system it’s hard to form lasting bonds (or find anyone you’d want to form one with), at best it’s a crap shoot. You’re just as likely (if not more likely) to encounter a failure as you are to encounter a winner. With Cataclysm approaching it’s important to consider your friends list, do you have “farmers” to supply you with mats? What about people to group with as you grind your way through the new instances (non tanks especially should probably make friends for faster ques).

Unfortunately, there’s no easy answer to finding friends in WOW, just adhere to the basics: look for pugs on your server and keep an open mind. Doing older pugs like Ulduar Hardmodes, OS3D, TOC/TOGC etc will keep your ICC raiding open and expose you to more potential friends. If nothing else, you’ll be able to work on a new mount or achievement(s) before Cataclysm launches. And you might find some more truly epic examples of failure to talk about after…

Thanks for reading.